While the cleaning ladies were here this weekend, one of them stopped and said to me, “So, do you stay here by yourself all the time?” In classic Southern style I knew she meant, “Why do you have such a big house just for you?” I waved it off, mentioned AB. But it stuck with me.

Then today, my horoscope said, “You’ll be on your own today.” And I was, but mostly because I’ve contracted whatever had AB laid up for the last four days. And don’t nobody want the Ebola.

We do have a big house. Kind of a ridiculously big house for only two people. But I tell people, “AB takes up all the room.” I mean, not physically, but, I guess his presence occupies the whole place when he is here, and I feel like I’m being squished into whatever little crevices and corners are left.

But when he’s gone, this is a cavernous place.

I’ve been spending a lot of time here on my own. With AB’s folks so close now, he spends a lot of time with his family. And I spend a lot of time trying to keep this place running. I am also, adverse to all other evidence, a bit of a hermit.

All of which leads to me spending most of my non-work hours by myself.

One Year Ago Today: My plate, she overflows.

My brother and I stopped to pick up some wine on our way to our sister’s house for dinner last week. As we checked out I realized I had worked with the cashier when I was in college. I asked if she’d worked at the clothing store and she said she had. And then spilled a little gossip one of our old co-workers. As I walked out I realized that I had been at that job more than ten years ago.

I haven’t lived in Calgary for ten years now. My dad said to me on this trip that it was likely that it didn’t feel like home with them anymore. That my sense of home must be somewhere else. He didn’t ask me if this was the case; he just assumed.

And really, I only lived in Calgary for about four years. Not the longest I’ve lived anywhere. But it was always home base. No matter where we lived, there has always been family in Calgary.

I spent my last day of 2011 driving in the mountains with just my brother and sister. On roads that no Southerner would manouver. But my siblings are winter road warriors – all over North America, they’ve driven it all. So I felt safe with then driving and navigating. And I felt safe with them in the wilderness of the Rockies, staring up at massive sheers of granite, picking out the telltale blue of glaciers, and spotting moose and deer. Then we stopped at McDonalds for lunch. Of course.

The meme, courtesy of Sundry.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
I was locked in an airplane hangar with a bunch of strangers while a tornado went right over our heads. I rode in a stretch SUV. I rode in a helicopter. I ate pork bellies. I made a piece of furniture.Went to a physical therapist & a chiropractor. Water aerobics. Had some of my cat’s teeth pulled.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I have found service providers for just about everything I need. And I have been mixing up my wardrobe, even wearing nothing but skirts and dresses for a week. The rest of my resolutions did not get fulfilled.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Sarah Mac had a baby. Chris had a baby. Chan had a baby. I just wish I was physically closer to all of them to see all their babies. My coworker had a baby boy, and he’s the only one of the 2011 babies I’ve met.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My Oma died in July. I miss her, and I miss my Opa a lot. I keep replaying the last moment with her when I hope she knew I was there. AB’s uncle also passed away this year after a long battle with cancer. He was only 56.

5. What countries did you visit?
Besides Canada, I stayed in the U.S. and visited Chattanooga, TN and Lakeland, FL for the first time.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Purpose.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 27: Tornadoes tore through Alabama.
July 14: Oma died.
July 17: Threw out my back.
October 24-26: Awesome trip to New Orleans.
November 12: Katy got married.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Actually getting some of the house projects done. Taking stock of my health, and trying things that would make me feel better.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being as responsible with my finances as I should. Not doing my best when it came to any of my work.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I hurt my back in July, and spent the next six months trying to fix myself and stop being in pain.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I think without a doubt, paying someone to clean my house has been some of the best money I’ve ever spent.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
The Japanese people were amazing to watch from afar. Their resilience is inspiring. Celebration may not be the right word though – more respect and sympathy.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Fox News.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Gifts and clothes and the cellphone bill.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Some of the gifts I gave to people.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Probably Robyn’s “Call Your Girlfriend”.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Maybe a little sadder.
b) thinner or fatter? Probably about the same.
c) richer or poorer? Maybe a little richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Being spontaneous. Making plans for more travel.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Moaning and groaning about being in pain.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Quietly, at home with my husband.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Yes.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Community made me fall in love with it.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is always a pointless emotion.

24. What was the best book you read?
It’s going to seem cliche, but The Help really resonated with me. I think living here in the South makes that book even more provoking.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Fitz and the Tantrums and Two Door Cinema Club.

26. What did you want and get?
To get to say good-bye to my grandmother.

27. What did you want and not get?
My back healed.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
None of the films I saw this year have really stuck with me. I really enjoyed Cowboys & Aliens, and Bridesmaids was pretty funny, but there’s nothing I saw that I want to own or anything.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 35 on my last birthday. I went to work, and ate pizza for lunch.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Fearlessness.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Work with what you’ve got.

32. What kept you sane?
As much as it probably pained him to have to do it, my pseudo-boss talked me down off a number of ledges this year.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Adele.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
SOPA. Alabama’s ridiculous anti-immigration laws. Congress’s attempt to discontinue support of Planned Parenthood.

35. Who did you miss?
Everyone in Canada. Katy.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
I’d met both of them before, but I got to know and work with two awesome ladies this year. The maid of honor in Katylady’s wedding is her oldest friend, and she was amazing in the wedding. She worked so hard to make the day special for Katy, and she’s an awesome, funny lady to boot. The other lady I am super glad I’ve got to spend some time with, I originally met at Weetacon 2010. She works with me to do the marketing stuff for my dad, and has been so helpful to me. After doing all this work by myself, essentially, for the past eight years, it’s so nice to have someone else to help get it all done.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Not getting what you want is sometimes a very good thing.

One Year Ago Today: I naturalized.

AB and I had a quiet Christmas at home again this year. No snow though, just low grey clouds. We opened our few gifts to each other, and ate some treats that I’d stockpiled for the day.

Truthfully, I woke up and I hadn’t gotten rid of the terrible mood. I opened my eyes, and I was just furious for no reason. Over the course of the morning I managed to get over myself, and just be happy and grateful for every part of my day. That sounds corny, but I really am ridiculously blessed, and it’s sad how frequently I have to be reminded of that fact.

I also dove into the gifts my parents had sent. They came unwrapped in their Amazon boxes, but I didn’t use them until yesterday. Including a new Sims game. Oh man, this game is so dangerous. I have already spent hours playing it. My wrist is sore. I’m going to have to ration the living daylights out of this thing.

This morning I got up early to hit some of the post-holiday sales and stock up for next year. Which I did. And I even remembered to pick up some things that I need to take to Canada tomorrow. Then we met AB’s folks for lunch, where we all mainlined vegetables.

Tonight we’re drinking hot chocolate while the wind whips around the house. It’s raining hard, but we’re all cozy in the house.

One Year Ago Today: Back to work tomorrow.